Friday, November 13, 2009

What is appropriate dress for mother of the groom?

My son is getting married in April, and I want to look good, but I've packed on several pounds since my last "public appearance" (I am a tall size 20). I have a tea-length dress that is "acceptable" (in burgundy with gold), but my friends tell me I look too frumpy in it. The bridesmaids are wearing Aqua colored dresses. I just found a beautiful dress in a periwinkle blue, with a full length A-line skirt, embellished with embroidered roses, beading %26amp; crystals, with a matching wrap. I feel like a princess in it.





My concern is that it has more bling than the bride's gown or the bridesmaids. I am only 46 and not ready to look like my own grandmother, and I figure that I will be looking at those pictures for a long time, and I don't want my thought to be how prematurely old I look, but I also don't want to look out of place or silly.





Any advice?

What is appropriate dress for mother of the groom?
I think the dress sounds nice and I personally wouldn't mind if MY MOM wore something like that to my wedding (my dress is pretty simple but beautiful) however, depending on what type of relationship I had with my future mother-in-law (mine is actually passed on) I "may" feel like she was trying to deliberately take the attention and shine it on her. If you have a good relationship with your soon to be daughter in law, show her the dress and ask her if it's okay. If you don't have a good relationship with her, error on the side of caution and go for something more played down. I understand that you'll have to look at the pictures for years to come and don't want to look like a granny, but it's not your day, it's her's and your son's, you had your day. Good luck.
Reply:You would be appropriately dressed for the mother of the groom in the periwinkle dress you described. The mothers of the bride and groom should be dressed fancier than the other guests. I wore a sage dress, tea length with a handkerchief hem and it had some beading on it as well. I was the fiance of the father of the bride. The bride even came with me when I bought the dress. His mother was in a champagne colored dress that had a beaded top, and a beaded short jacket. Nobody out-shined the bride, even though we had a little bling going on. I'm sure you will look great!





Hope this helps.
Reply:Show the dress to the bride, and ask her if she thinks it is appropriate. Some brides really care about how the moms look (especially in comparison to themselves). Others don't care much at all, so long as the moms are comfortable and happy.
Reply:Before you do anything you need to speak to the bride about what #1 her mother is wearing (its tradition that the MOB chooses her dress first and then you choose a style dress that is along the same lines. Meaning if she chooses a tea length then so do you, floor length, suit etc. and so you dont choose a clashing or the same color) and #2 what she would like to see you in.





Also, this is your sons wedding, you are an honored guest, you should get a new dress, not something you have in your closet, if you can afford one. You will be in a lot of photographs, so you want to really be comfortable in your dress and not feel so much princess-like as you do pretty in it. I agree with above that you are a bit to old to be feeling like a princess, the princess should be the bride, you had you princess day when you were married.





Talk to the bride first and good luck!
Reply:ask the bride, if she's cool with it go for the bling, if not, its her day and you might have to go frumpy (that sounds bad-sorry!), but if you are questioning it, your best bet is to take care of any fights now before wedding day!
Reply:The dress you have picked out sounds LOVELY.





You're right in that you don't want to overshadow the bride. My best advice would be to ask her directly if she thinks the dress is too much; if she gives the thumbs-up, then go for it!





Have a stupendous day!
Reply:Personally, I think that dress sounds beautiful!! The periwinkle one ;) I think though that if you have concerns, you should show it to your son and future daughter in law and get their opinions as well as voice the concerns you did here.
Reply:When in doubt the best thing you can do is show it to the bride. And if she's OK with it then your 100% fine.





It sounds lovely though!!





I am going through this with my mother.... she picked out a terrible frumpy eggplant gown that didn't go and made her look short and fat. I actually picked out a fancy beaded outfit that is fancier then my dress but it looks nice on her and the color is good!! I don't mind her being fancier as long as she looks nice and the color looks good with the bridemaids and me!!
Reply:You should wear the dress you are comfortable and feel good in. The other option is that you go to a tailor and see if she can fix the dress to look better and wear that one to the ceremony and wear the other dress to the reception if you think it has too much "bling" for the ceremony. I have been to many wedding where the mothers of the bride and groom change for the reception.
Reply:I think that as long as you're not wearing a white dress or the color of the bridesmaids, you should be fine with the periwinkle dress. If you like it you should go ahead and wear it. It sounds really nice. It doesnt sound too over the top to me.
Reply:If you are worried about your dress being to much, talk to your soon to be daughter-in-law. Have her look at what you have so far. Ask her what she thinks and maybe go shopping together so that you can get some honest input. Let her know that you will not take anything personally. I am sure if you have a decent relationship with her this will be a wonderful experience. I wish I would have had a good relationship with my husbands mother so that we could have done a few things like that together, but she has never really liked the girls her sons have brought home.
Reply:You can get happy-talk from teenie-girls here, but I'm just shy of your own age. So, let's be more honest. Your 'princess' days are long over. Start thinking queen, and go for a more mature appearance. Periwinkle blue is not a color for a mother of the groom (it's Cinderella's color)- and stay away from the same-color as the girlfriends of the bride. You aren't one of them, and you're no longer a young woman. Wear the darker, more formal shades of the groom (who I assume, will be wearing black). April is early spring, sure. But the mother of the groom isn't the flower in that garden, understand? Go with dark colors that look good on you, or a black dress yourself (which hides the figure, too). It will look better when you're dancing with your son. With a periwinkle blue.. you'll stand out more than you'll want, next to black tux. Picture it, all eyes in that photo go to the lighter color -- and you know your role isn't foreground, but background and a postion of class and strenght and dignity.

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